Knowing who you are (your identity) is the platform for creating a life that truly suits you. Your interests, intelligences, passions, etc. are all facets of your identity that, once clarified, become the driving factors for you to make better educational, vocational, relational and lifestyle decisions. We all kind of know this intuitively but, given the distracting forces of our familial, social and educational systems, we rarely stop and quantify the substance of who we actually are. This means that we mostly live from the outside-in (constantly reacting to external forces and options) instead of from the inside-out (where our identity sets the pace for making the choices that govern our entire lives).

I believe that our identities can be known. The more we know of ourselves, then the more we can develop and act on who we are. This begins with stating basic truths about ourselves; let's call them 'identity statements'. These statements, like ‘I am a nurturer’ or ‘I am physically intelligent’, combine to reveal a composite identity map unique to each person. By looking at a number of personal identity statements together, we can creatively combine various elements of who we are into new ways of living. For instance, a person with a combination of creative, social and business identity statements could put their identity to work as a social entrepreneur. A person using their various artistic, nurturing and inter-personal identity traits could enjoy helping children with special needs through art therapy. Similarly, a great waitperson uses their social intelligence, physical aptitude and memory/math intelligences to make a restaurant hum The more identity statements we’re working with, the clearer our choices to creatively synthesize them become.

We are often more in control of the lives we lead than we think. A broad understanding of our complex identities helps us shift from reacting to the school, vocational and even relational contexts we find ourselves in, to a practice of storytelling. These stories are potential futures we might love. Eventually, we chart ways to create a life filled with heart-inspired choices based on the substance of who we are. Over time we can develop that substance into a brace of mature skills, solid character traits and significant craft. Not that this is a cake walk. Knowing who you are, developing your identity, and acting on it in the real world takes intentionality and guts. Telling creative stories that project possible futures requires taking yourself seriously while imagining a world to come, that is, the world  you choose to create. This begs philosophical questions, smacks up against real life tensions and challenges issues of personal inertia. At the end of the day, however, your identity has the substance, resilience and strength to pull you through the most difficult and exhilarating of processes - namely, being your self in the world.

THE BASIC PREMISE

THE IDENTITY PROCESS

THE FLOW

SECOND:

GRAB A

FRIEND

 SECOND: PARTNERING

Understanding identity is super hard as a one person show. Family, friends and colleagues all contribute to a working knowledge of ourselves. The problem is, most of us don't take encouragement seriously (giving or receiving it). Recapturing a clear sense of self doesn't have to be a lonely journey. Here are a few ideas for partnering up with others:

WITH CLOSE FRIENDS

Choosing a friend who knows you really well (and who could probably benefit from a similar process) is a great way to start. Try committing to a regular meeting once a week and pace your journey together over a few months.

WITH FAMILY

Families can be complicated, but they’re also the people who know you the best. Processing your identity together could bridge gaps or bring good relationships even closer.

WITH SMALL GROUPS

If you’re already part of a small group (or want to start one) you could gather once a month or more to chat and share about all the questions you’ll encounter.

ONLINE

Social media is not a great place to share your inner secrets, but you could encourage friends in your space by sharing identity statements and possible stories as they relate to your identity.

WITH COMMUNITY

Some of my friends simply started gathering with people in the same apartment complex or neighborhood. Sharing identity is a great way to develop community as it starts with who we really are, and therefore why we’re together.

CASE STUDIES

Allow me to introduce you to a few people that are going through the journey of discovering and acting on their identities. Each one tackles this process in a unique way. Their distinct knowledge of themselves exists because of their intentionality and their determination to be themselves in the world. Any one of these fine folk would be just as quick to point out missteps as they would clear identity statements. Their journeys are real, accessible and encouraging for anyone willing to have a go.

Each person is linked to the 8 parts of the Identity journey in this site. Feel free to explore their story along the way by following the 'Where to from here' below.

WHERE TO FROM HERE